Oh A, A, A ...

So this is my first blog and I am going to start out this momentus occasion with a rant...

To keep the from embarrassing said parties I will try my hardest to only refer to them by a letter or sometimes by fake names that I happen to fancy at the moment, in this case, her name is A.

So this is the issue. I work in clothing retail and in this job are a lot of high strung, over sensitive, egotistical, competitive, and bitter people, this is a given, and Im not going to fool you into thinking that being around such negativity isnt damaging, especially on a nearly daily basis. It has, but then it also had brought me to a place of deep self reflection and has provoked me to do my best to find and eliminate any signs of such qualities in myself.  Now I am human, and I do make mistakes, often. But I have made an effort to concentrate on one change to focus on at a time, my first was either let go of issue that hurt you or confront the person in a reasonable objective way, willing to listen to your fairshare of faults as well as dishing out the bitter medicine. But there is a case that has caused me to question whether I can do this...This is where A comes in.

Okay so A is this girl who is pretty much the culmination of everything I dont like in a person, all in one.  That was the first strike.  Now, granted I'm not a person who easily likes people, but knowing that about myself, I make extreme efforts to find a redeeming quality about any person to build an understanding and hopefully support of them; Although I may never like them I try not to ever dislike a person.  A is a difficult case because she is loud, abrasive, ambitious to the point of lying to superiors and placing blame on others for anything that could make her look bad, she takes no prisoners, its no joke to her, she brown noses to make friends and she will do so by any means necessary, whether its to lie, cheat or steal (all of which is guilty of).  Most people I have spoken with have told me they have experienced few people like A, though when I elaborate, few have even said they have known one person who resembles her.  I still have found nothing to cling to, and believe me folks I'm desperate.  I'm one that believes that if you can't let go of a sense of negativity (whether it be anger, or hurt, or whatever you will) it DOES eat you up inside. So I'm trying and failing.

Things I have noticed helped were writing songs about her. What I would say to her if it were any other setting and she weren't one who is given to being on defensive mode and shouting at me, regardless of what and how I say it.

Have you noticed how petty people can be? Honestly, I only recently have.  The littlest things cause a rift that divides even the most longest standing relationships.  From my job, I have become one who's skin has strengthened, and has learned how to take criticism as well as mean people, but when you bring in malicious people, ones bent on targeting you. That is not something I have the training for, nor did I ever think I would need to.

So, here I am, uncertain as to what to do.  I want to do something constructive but not sure what my rights are... Anyways, thanks for the visit, comment if you have something constructive to add.